Dealing with Passive Resistance

January 20, 2005

Being confronted by an angry employee who decides to argue with you about some action you've taken or a decision you've made as a manager can be an unpleasant experience.

Nevertheless, an equally frustrating and far more common scenario involves employees who outwardly agree with everything you say, but then act as if they don't.

Rather than challenge you directly, these individuals thwart your efforts by conveniently "forgetting" to carry out assigned tasks, engage in foot-dragging, or persist in doing things their own way.

When they're upset about something, they complain to others, but not to you.

Psychologists refer to this as passive-aggressive behavior.

People who engage in this type of behavior can pose a real challenge because they're almost impossible to pin down.

Here's an example: You direct an employee to perform a task, only later to find either it didn't get done or was performed in a manner completely different than how you had instructed. When you ask what happened, the employee feigns ignorance or shrugs it off with some lame excuse.

Why do people behave this way?

People who engage in passive resistance tend to be highly independent. They desire the freedom to do things their own way, without interference from you, or anyone else for that matter. They may be reluctant to agree to a deadline or commit themselves to a specified course of action that might limit their options later on. And they are often particularly resentful of any suggestions about how they should do things.

What to do about it.

If you find yourself in this type of situation, here are a few tips on what to do.

1. Avoid a getting entangled in a power struggle.

You might be tempted to show this person who's boss, especially if you perceive their actions to be a form of insubordination. However, attempting to force your will on this employee is likely to backfire because it only serves to reinforce the individual's belief that most authority figures are overly demanding and controlling. The response is likely to be even greater resistance by the employee.

Instead, you're more likely to get a better response by appealing to the employee's independent nature. Give the employee as much flexibility as you can over how the job gets done. Establish clear limits as to what is and is not allowed and emphasize that part of the job where the employee is free to exercise his or her discretion.

2. Determine the underlying cause.

Sometimes people go into "resistance" mode as a means of retaliation for some decision or action they perceive to be unfair. It's a way of seeking their revenge on you or the organization. Think back to when you first noticed the behavior and try to determine if there is a connection to some decision or action that was taken about the same time. Some people carry around a grudge for a very long time.

However, if the employee has always been like this, then the behavior is probably due to the individual's personality and not the result of any particular occurrence.

3. Solicit the employee's help in setting and enforcing the rules.

People who engage in passive resistance behavior aren't necessarily opposed to the idea of rules. They just don't like having a set of rules imposed on them by someone else. Therefore, the solution is to get this person actively involved in making and enforcing procedures and rules early on.

For example, when you start to see some resistance, tell the employee, "I'd like you to help me think through the best way to complete these tasks to ensure things are done right." An alternative option is to put the employee in charge of enforcing the procedures or rules.

4. Make it safe to disagree.

Actively work to create a climate of safe and open communication. When discussing a work-related issue, encourage the employee to voice any concerns he or she may have, especially if you get a sense the individual is not in complete agreement.

Here's a useful technique that I've used many times. When you get a feeling the other person is harboring some concerns but is reluctant to say so, make it safe by posing the issue in the form of a hypothetical question:

"Do you have any concerns about this?"
"No."
"Well, if you did have any concerns, what would they be?"
"I guess if I had any concerns, it would be the lack of sufficient time."

There you go. Now, you know what the person was really thinking all along. This technique almost never fails.

Of course, once an employee shares his or her concerns, it's important that you not criticize or belittle the person or try to force your own ideas instead. Nothing will cause an employee to shut down quicker than being asked to offer an opinion only to have it trashed.

5. Point Out Discrepancies Between Words and Deeds

When an employee's actions don't match the words, call it to the individual's attention. For example, "Ted, you agreed you would talk with the customer regarding his account, but you haven't done it yet. Is there a problem?"

For more tips, including more sample words to use with an employee who engages in passive resistance behavior, visit Expert Supervisor in the Problem Situations section and check out "Insubordination" and "Instigating Behavior."

Best regards,

Stephen Foster, Ph.D
Expert Supervisor, LLC
1493 Market Street
Tallahassee, FL 32312
(850) 893-5699

E-mail me at: Steve.Foster@ExpertSupervisor.com