Employees Who Can't Get Along

May 26, 2005

Few things are more frustrating to a manager than having employees who cannot get along with one another.

It's hard enough to get the work done as it is. But when you have to put up with two employees who constantly argue with one another or engage in a series of petty disputes, it can drive you up the wall.

You feel like screaming, "Why can't you two just act like adults and stop your incessant bickering?"

What To Do About It

Just because you're the manager doesn't mean you have to mediate every dispute that occurs among employees. A certain amount of conflict is inevitable anytime people are forced to work together. Especially when people feel stressed, tempers can flare quickly. Words are exchanged. Then, just as quickly they calm down once the situation has passed. These incidents rarely have a serious or lasting effect.

However, when a mutual dislike or running feud between two individuals begins to affect the work, then it's time to step in and put a stop to it. For example, when people refuse requests for information, are uncooperative in getting the job done, argue in front of customers, or blame problems or poor performance on another person, then something needs to be done about it.

Following are some tips on how you can handle situations like this.

• Schedule a meeting with the employees to discuss the situation. Meeting with them jointly can save time and also ensure that both individuals know exactly what was said. However, you may meet with them individually, if you prefer.
   
• Acknowledge the issue. "There seems to be bad-blood between you two." Also aknowledge the feelings. For example if one employee threatens to quit, you can say, "I understand you're frustrated. However, quitting is not the solution."
   
• Avoid playing favorites. Whenever two individuals are in conflict, then both individuals are at fault, regardless of who started it. Don't make matters worse by choosing sides.
   
• Send a strong message that you won't tolerate their dislike for one another to interfere with the work. "Your inability to get along is affecting the work, which I cannot allow."
   
• Keep the discussion focused on the work and the need for employees to work together, despite their personal feelings. Don't get side-tracked or dragged into an arguement over who said what, or who did what to whom.
   
• Don't let employees use their disagreements with one another as an excuse for missed deadlines, low work output, or poor customer service. Sometimes it's necessary that people set aside their personal differences in order to get the work done.
   
• Insist on civility. While you can't make a person like someone else, you can insist that they treat one another respectfully.
   
• Explain the potential consequences if the disruptive behavior continues. "If this continues it could jeopardize your opportunities for advancement or even cost you your job."
   
• Provide a stern warning to instigators. Some people are just combative by nature. They always seem to be angry and eager to pick a fight. If left unchecked, this behavior can undermine teamwork, hinder productivity, and even prompt good people to leave the organization. You need to put a stop to it quickly. "Your actions suggest that you deliberately provoked the other person. That kind of behavior is unacceptable. Stop doing that."
   
• If all else fails, you may have to separate the combatants, either by transfering or otherwise relocating one or more of the individuals involved so they're no longer in frequent contact with one another. This is not the best solution because sends the wrong message that people who don't like others don't have to work with them. You also have to make sure the parties mutually agree with any decision to separate or relocate them so it doesn't appear that you have taken sides or that the separation is intended as form of punishment. Nevertheless, in spite of its drawbacks sometimes this is your only viable option.
  
  Employees who allow their personal feelings to interfere with the work to the extent that it has serious consequences or damages the organization's reputation may be subject to termination. If you're not sure, consult your supervisor or HR specialist.
   
• Reward good behavior. When previously feuding employees demonstrate a willingness to work together for a change, be sure to point it out. Behavior that is rewarded tends to be repeated. "Becky, I appreciate your offerig to help Joan with the paperwork."

Taking steps such as these can prevent serious problems from occurring as well as help you keep your sanity.

If you would like more information on how to deal with employees who can't get along, log into Expert Supervisor, click on Problem Situations, and select Quarreling. There you'll find examples, help on when to take action, how to discuss this type of situation with employees, and sample memos for documenting specific instances.

Don't have an account yet in Expert Supervisor? Did you know that you can establish your own account right now for as little as $99? What are you waiting for?

For more information how to get instant access to the many tools and features found in Expert Supervisor, click here.

Best regards,

Stephen Foster, Ph.D
Expert Supervisor, LLC
1493 Market Street
Tallahassee, FL 32312
(850) 893-5699

E-mail me at: Steve.Foster@ExpertSupervisor.com